All the responsibility of fostering more open, collaborative design reviews doesn’t just fall on the audience. Everyone involved can help create an atmosphere of caring curiosity.
When you’re the one presenting, keep in mind that you’ve been living and breathing this work for much longer than many of the folks you’re talking to. I’d say 99% of the people you’ll ever speak to aren’t asking questions meant to be gotchas, or to cut you down to size.
They’re seeking understanding of your thought process, of the assumptions and methods you used. Or they’re doing checks for their own comfort—because they worry that if they had done the work, they might have missed something.
Their projection is not meant to imply your incompetence. Far from it, in fact. They’re respecting you by trying to learn from you and your approach to problems and decisions. And if they call out something they disagree with, it’s because they want to help you make the design or analysis better. We don’t want to see our teammates fail.
(And the 1% of people that actually are trying to flex on you, or trap you in a gotcha…they do it to everyone. It’s a reflection of their character, not yours.)
I’ve worked for years on accepting review feedback for exactly what it is: feedback on the data, not on me.
Something I’ve found helps is to take copious notes and answer questions, but not push myself to come up with any substantial rebuttals or alternatives on the spot. It’s okay to say in the moment, “that’s a great point you brought up, I’m going to think about it and get back to you.”
After the meeting, I take time to read through and digest what everyone said. Very often when I can process the comments at my own pace, one that made me a little defensive in the moment morphs into a genuinely helpful insight. I appreciate that person and their thinking. Removing the perception of conflict makes me more open to those other points of view.
You can flip this around too: try sending out a slide deck or other review document before the meeting, and ask for the team’s thoughts. This gives you the chance to make the transition from defensive to collaborative before you even step into the meeting.
As a bonus, it also makes the meeting more productive—everyone’s already seen the material, so the discussion is more focused on the feedback and how to address it. It’s a more efficient way to use the time, especially if some people are working remotely.
With a little extra care and thoughtfulness, we can turn design reviews from a high-stakes interrogation….
Into a meeting where everyone feels comfortable enough to open the dialogue, and focus on making our final products better.